Some ESL quotes to live by...

Student: (writing couplet of family member) My dad is hiding every day so that he doesn't have to pay.
Me: Cool! What's he hiding from? (Note to self: Stupid question.)
Student: I can't tell you; it's private.

Me: Man, I have not been feeling well lately.
1st grader: I just went to the doctor. Sleep lots, and don't eat Chinese food.

1st grader 1: Landon's dad is Officer Light.
1st grader 2: Oh yeah? I've met a policeman before!
1st grader 3: Me too! My dad was arrested!
Awkward silence.

Roberto could not wrap his mind around mini-marshmallows. He knew about big marshmallows over campfires but had never heard of the minis in hot cocoa. As I was drawing a picture to show him how similar they are, he shook his head and said, "I just don't go out that much, Mrs. Steele."


Janely: When will we find out who won the poetry contest?
Me: I don't know. Soon...
Janely: What's the prize? I really hope it's money. *pause* My parents are having a hard time paying the bills. I want to give it to them when I win.

Cindy: Wanna know what I did for my mom for Mother's Day?
Me: Sure!
Cindy: I made her breakfast.
Me: Ohh...that's so sweet! What'd you make her?
Cindy: Well, I cook with my mom a lot, but I couldn 't remember how to make pancakes. I could only make spaghetti.

Student writing: I liked going to the Indiana polic zoo.
My thoughts: There's no such thing as a police zoo! *enlightenment* Oh! The Indianapolis Zoo!


Shri answered a question exceptionally well during our reading group. "You're on the ball, Shri!" I exlaimed, excited. Startled, she looked around, then under her. "No, I'm not!" she remarked. "I don't even see a ball!"

We played the Picnic Name Game one day. "My name is Mrs. Steele, and I'm bringing spaghetti." So it was Diana's turn: "My name is Diana, and I bring donuts." The next day...she brought donuts to class!

Ricardo: I just met another cousin that I didn't know was my cousin!
Me: Sometimes I think everyone here is cousins.
Jackie: Yeah, that's just 'cuz the world's so short.

Kindergartener: My birthday is March. April.
Me: Oh, your birthday is March April?
Kindergartener: Yes. My birthday is March April. Twenty-five. August.

Mrs. Winn: Mercedes, how old are you?
Mercedes: Good.
Mrs. Winn: No, Mercedes, how...oooold...aaaare...yooooou?
Mercedes: Good.
Mrs. Winn: Are you 4 or 5 or 6?
Mercedes: Yes.

Student writing: "I'm not embarrassed to say this. I know I'm a poor kid, but when we went to the World Cup to see Chivas versus Mexico, it was the best day of my life...I want to be famous so I can pay my mom and dad for all I owe them."

Boys near the girls restroom: They even wash their hands! (shock)

Kindergartener: (retelling a story for a placement test) They start to walk. They start to rain. They start to rainbow. They start to play!

5th grader asking a question: Ma'am, I have a doubt!

4th grader: Veruca is a spoiled rat.

4th grader: I like poemtry.

Me: What are some ways we greet people?
Danny: Handing shakes!

Me: What do you know about farming?
4th grade boy: This is gonna be gross, but I'm gonna say it anyway. The farmer semens the cow so it has a baby.

Me: What did you learn about farming today?
4th grade written response: They grow weed.
(Here's hoping they're growing wheat!)


We were reading this book about the first years of black people not being slaves. 6th grader: "Wait. I thoguht it was John McCain who freed the slaves!"


Our 4th grade vocab word one morning was "blurted." The following is how one student showed me he understood.
Juan: MRS. STEELE!
Me: Yes, Juan?
Juan: I just blurted. *grin*

Catherine: (in reference to a grape I was handing her) Oooh! Is that a jelly bean?!

Anthony: (before getting up in front of class) "Wait! I gotta look faaancy!" He then proceeded to put on his glasses. Fancified...check.


Me: Ohh...it smells like Bolivia in here!
Karyn: (in jest) Is it you, Jasmine?
Jasmine: Yeah, I put too much on this morning.


We were talking with 1st grader about how things grow. Words about our butterflies included "cocoon," "butterfly," and "caterpillar." We moved on to frogs next. "And a baby frog is called a tad..." I started. "Taderpillar!" exclaimed Carlos!

Question: What's one suggestion you could give the author?
Written response: he need bester spelling.
Wait. Who needs "bester" spelling?? ;)